They are becoming too many, and I know I won’t be able to read them all. Think about that. Why did I get all these? But this is only some of them. Why are book collectors so mad? What it is? Where’s the grip?
My library. It lines every wall. It’s on fire. It swells and shrinks, puckers and protrudes; puts ankles in the hallway, spills books onto the beds of grandsons, ‘What’s this Nanny, it’s got bees on it, it’s got rips in her, it’s too heavy, it’s not my book, it’s bent, but I didn’t done it.’
My library stands with its spine against all walls, shoulders back and watching the family drama. It breathes out. Books land softly. They are trodden on; they brace their cardboard ribs and make it through.
‘Who’s Arthur Ransome?’
‘The Lakes. Heap of kids in a boat. Fabulous.’
‘Is this racist?’
‘Nanny, I saw Paddington.’
‘What’s this Mrs Pepperpot?’
‘Should I read Margaret Atwood?’
My sister bending strongly and in no mood for argument, examines my shelf of Terry Pratchetts. She finds something that might be hers. She straightens up with an accusing face. It is hers.
My dad returns my copy of Uncle Tom’s Cabin to the Tea Tree Gully Library.
The grandsons have a go at Asterix.
‘Mum, read Nevo Zisin. Because you don’t get it.’
I read and read. Everything implodes, and my library rocks back and forth holding things upright for me, knowing
I still have my mother’s collection of Monica Dickens. I won’t let it go. It’ll come with me. Which of course it will. Once, a customer, Robert, said ‘all the books come with us, my God, they do.’ Imagine not reading. But I can’t.