About

I no longer have my little bookshop in Strathalbyn, SA. But the following notes I made when I began the shop still hold true.

Noun: consternation

• A feeling of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected.
• Synonyms include dismay, perturbation, anxiety, distress, disquiet, disquietude, discomposure, angst, trepidation

Every day I met readers. They came from such vastly different regions and places, backgrounds and experiences that I began to make notes on all the people, ideas and thoughts that I encountered there. These collected interactions came to represent a reservoir of experiences so rich, unpredictable and diverse that when I re read them I felt an urgency to also preserve them.

There are many kinds of readers. And I have learned not to presume that one reader belongs to this group and not that because reading is as personal as jewellery and as private as underwear.

An experience with a book is not duplicated with a later reading. Nobody experiences the same book in the same way. And few people can explain the sensation of being broadsided by the sheer beauty and craftsmanship of the greatest writing they have encountered so far.

But I do recognise the times that I meet with the readers from what I call the Library of Consternation. This means reading at risk, without lists, and regardless of norms. It can mean immersion into the murky waters of unknown authors, disquieting writing, confronting ideas and difficult concepts. Eventually it comes to define the reader rather than the book. This type of reading never ends.

It is for these readers that I wrote this original diary, recording the readers who visited my shop over the 12 years I owned it and worked there.

Now I am doing a different kind of work. I am working as carer for people who live with disabilities. My role is varied, unpredictable, intense, and endlessly interesting. I move in and out of the health system with them. I drive to and wait during appointments, meetings, assessments, and individual outings. My clients teach me about life. There is much to observe. So, while I wait, I observe.

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